By Jack Kneece
 If you have never visited the Hawaiian islands, you probably have all kinds of benign misconceptions about the place. The images may stem from the movie "Blue Hawaii" starring Elvis Presley or "From Here to Eternity," featuring torrid love scenes on the beach between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr. Some have seen a few Travel Channel pieces—also misleading.
You probably think that Waikiki Beach is a grotesque, crowded Coney Island of the Pacific. It is not. You may think jaded Hula dancers shimmy for tourist dollars and poi is a delicious tropical food. (Frankly, it looks and tastes like a mixture of motor oil and Cream of Wheat.) And many of the native girls—the great, great, great granddaughters of those first seen by Captain Cook in the 1700s—now seem to be as modern and hip as New York executives.
But Hawaii and its eight major islands, admitted as a state in 1959, may well be the most delightful vacation spot you can visit without a passport. A pleasant problem is that each island has a distinct personality. Parts of it are as expensive as Manhattan and parts are as reasonable as the Carolinas. In short, you can find the Hawaii you want with a bit of planning.
 For example, on a recent trip, a horseback ride in the mountains of Maui at the Ironwood Ranch could have been in the hills of Montana in the spring. A kayaking excursion could have been in the San Francisco bay area. Shopping in Honolulu could have been in Miami's South Beach. Snorkeling is similar to but may be better than offshore Belize because there is a rich variety of fish. And humpback whales cruise by in November.
But a luau this writer experienced at Westin's Moana Surfrider Hotel, a landmark built in 1901 and expanded and modernized every few decades since, was uniquely and wonderfully Hawaiian. The roast pig was delicious. The fresh tropical fruits, including mangoes, papayas, guavas, passion fruit, strawberries, pineapple and star fruit, are locally grown year-around and cannot be matched for delectable freshness on the mainland. Guava juice is served chilled and fresh everywhere and can be addictive. Add a bit of rum and it can become a nightly necessity.
 The dazzling night-time fire dances by athletic young island men and the hula dances that preceded the luau were mesmerizing. Forget the movies: the real experience of these luaus and the super abundance of the fresh fish, pork, vegetable and, yes, poi, are fantastic. Even poi is edible if eaten with something else. The tropical drinks, particularly the "old-style mai tai"— one with several herbs and fruits not in mainland mai tais— are heady and intoxicating in a way beyond the mere rum content. Warning: it is easy to drink six or seven of these and wake up with a lulu of a Honolulu hangover.
One thing you should do shortly after you land on the island of Oahu and are bedecked with the obligatory lei of purple and white orchids is visit one of the many clothing stores and pick out some very loud shirts or blouses. Then, sans camera, you will blend in. Locals really do love loud and colorful clothing. The Waikiki area is one of the best people-watching places this side of Hong Kong.
Sitting under the huge and spreading historic banyan tree, planted in 1901 between the Surfrider Hotel and the sea, sipping a tropical drink, and watching the beautiful women and buff young men walk by, seabirds swooping gracefully in the azure sky and hearing the gentle "swash" of the mild surf, you realize that even Bill Gates could not be any happier. This ambience makes the long and somewhat tedious flight worth it all. The ocean is a fluorescent blue, with incandescent white surf and streaks of turquoise beyond the breakers. It is even more beautiful than the Aegean around the Greek Islands, not too shabby in its own right.
During a recent visit, several residents told this traveler that they had visited Hawaii on vacation and then returned to the mainland, sold their homes, cashed in their savings and came back to live. Many are former military. That's why the islands have 1.9 million people, most of whom live on Oahu in or around Honolulu. The population is growing each year.
One exhilarating excursion was a catamaran cruise for a few hours. The big cat could hit 25 knots easily and we saw dolphins and also Diamond Head from a new angle. Inhaling the sea spray was invigorating. One caution: the Hawaiian sun laughs at No. 30 sun screen. Wear a cap.
 After a few days of what can only be described as bliss, our party flew to the island of Maui to another Westin resort, the Sheraton Maui Resort, equally luxurious. Such hotel rooms range from about $200 to $800 per night year-around; there is no off-season in Hawaii. The average annual temperature is in the seventies and the entire duration our trip found steady and balmy sea breezes that made things pleasant indeed. Hotel rooms were equipped with hair dryers, ironing boards and irons, Avido shampoos and lotions, heavy bathrobes and a coffee maker and coffee. All had spacious balconies. From my balcony I saw five or six huge, endangered sea turtles below, one of them a monster that was bigger than two manhole covers. This area is famous for the large number of turtles that thrive offshore.
A brief, misty rain during our horseback ride was pleasant and everyone dried off in no time. By a strange quirk of fate, this writer's big white horse was named "Michelle Pfeiffer." The group had a lot of fun kidding about this. All that can be said is that Michelle was a gentle lady and powerful enough to traverse narrow mountain trails that were scary in places. Our guides instructed us to keep the reins taut to prevent our horses from nibbling the lush and varied flora, but Michelle was indulged a few times. She even liked the wild coffee beans, which seemed to add a bit of pep to her step. The trick to riding up and down steep mountains is to put a lot of weight on the stirrups and lean back going down and forward when going up. If not, the consequences could be painful.
The next day, we kayaked to Flat Island off the Maui coast, debarking from the Kailua Beach Kayak rental. My heart sank when I saw how far away it appeared, a mere dark streak on the horizon. Could Japan be much farther? At one point, an errant wave dumped this aging paddler into the sea but, thankfully, the double paddle is attached to one wrist and to the kayak. The prospect of being nibbled by a great white shark facilitated a speedy return to the tipsy, yellow plastic craft. This was a long and arduous trip and about half-way there the alternative excursion of shopping or drinking at the hotel bar seemed, retrospectively, a far wiser choice. But the trip back, without the steady headwind of the trip out, was more pleasant.
 The next day we toured a lavender farm. The aromatic herb, used since Roman times, is not only edible for candies and baked goods, but is used in lotions and perfumes. It grows constantly and is a valuable cash crop.
One of the most pleasant aspects of the trip was the least exotic: a visit to the Kailua Farmer's Flea Market on Oahu next to Kapi'olai Community College. Here one could meander through a dizzying array of tropical fruits, sushi stands, food stalls and buy anything from a scarf to sunglasses or lunch. My lunch was fried green tomatoes and sushi. It may sound like an odd combo, but it was delicious, chased down with two chilled cups of guava juice.
 One of the best drinking places in Hawaii or maybe even the world is the Hanohano Room, 30 stories atop the Sheraton Waikiki with a night view that would make the Top of the Mark's view in San Francisco seem squalid by comparison. Waikiki, in its twinkling and illuminated glory and the shimmering sea vie for your attention. We also had one of our best meals at the Hanohano Room, although our rum-soaked palates were more gourmand than gourmet We had lamb and a fine combination of vegetables.
All of the meals were spectacular, but by far the very best were those at the Sheraton Hotel on Maui. Here we were fed foie gras, truffles, many great seafood and beef courses and all of the mai tais and fine wines we could handle, usually on a terrace overlooking the sumptuous grounds and the sea.
One night in Waikiki, we had an 11-course meal at the Momoyama Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani. If you like sushi and very fresh sashimi and all the sake you can hold, this is the place. Even those of us who never got enough sushi, decided after the 10th course that we had to forego the 11th course. Even sushi aficionados said it was the best they had ever had.
 The Waikiki hotel had a spectacular view of Diamond Head, which competed with all of the beautiful bathers at the pool below. The sunsets were like living postcards. One evening at the Maui Sheraton we watched divers make the long leap from Black Rock into the sea as we sipped tropical drinks. It was a fine moment.
We found Hawaiians to be a friendly and hedonistic people who don't mind answering questions when you are lost, and they love life. But our group mused: where do they go on vacation? I suggested that they check into a budget motel in the shadow of an oil refinery in New Jersey. That would teach them never to leave the islands again. |
